When you're transitioning through divorce, it's easy to complain, explain and blame. That is the problem. What if you chose today to create a mantra for yourself? No complaining. No blaming. No explaining. You would begin to see your life shift from victim to owner, from woe is me to I'm empowered and I can handle this. From negativity to positivity, from sadness, doom and gloom to happiness, joy, positivity and growth moving forward.
What's the problem with blame? Blame is when you never take responsibility for anything, or you sometimes don't take responsibility for something. And people that live in blame, they are often blaming things. It gets to the point where they stubbed their toe on a chair and they blame the chair for being there. Or they are late for work and they blame the kids for taking up all their time in the morning and not making it on time to work.
Constantly living in a state of blame and the act of assigning blame can have profoundly negative effects on your well-being as a person. While it's natural to want to assign blame, particularly in the challenging context of divorce, liberating yourself from this mindset is essential. Accepting responsibility for your present circumstances is the key to propelling yourself forward towards a brighter future. This acceptance opens the door to creating the life you truly desire, one that aligns with your aspirations and dreams. With this sense of ownership and self-determination, you possess the power to shape any life you envision.
If you decide right now, I'm not going to blame anyone anymore, ever. I'm going to take responsibility. I'm going to own my life and I'm going to create the life that I want. No explaining. Now I must prepare you, because you will have family, friends, professionals, doctors, lawyers, mom, dad and everyone giving you advice during this time. Social media is filled with what you should do and shouldn't do.
Allocate moments of quiet reflection to define your desires for yourself and your family during the challenging divorce transition. Operate from this personal compass when making decisions and taking actions. Refrain from the need to explain or justify your choices to others, as this path is yours alone to determine. Additionally, resist the urge to complain, as it only serves to cast a shadow over your path forward. Complaining fosters negativity, chaining you to the past instead of propelling you towards a brighter future. Embrace this new approach to find empowerment and joy amidst the trials of divorce.
You're complaining about this person. You're complaining about this situation. If you're complaining about the way things are right now, maybe you don't have as much money as you want. There are a million reasons that you can be complaining right now, but if you choose not to complain and you choose to own where you are at in this moment, you can be grateful for what you have and see the joy in small things, little things.
There's joy all around you. But if you're focused on complaining, you're not going to see it. I encourage you with this great mantra to live by. No blame. No complain. No explain. And remember, you are loved. You are perfect just the way that you are. And you deserve to be happy.
And until next time here's to youfirst!
Wendy
xo