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Four Steps to Lasting Happiness

Are you feeling unhappy right now? You're unhappy because you're thinking about getting a divorce. You're unhappy because you're transitioning through divorce. I'm going to share with you four exercises that you can begin doing right now today that will help you to get happier right now and be happier every single day moving forward no matter what comes up. Because as you know and as I know, stuff comes up. Bad stuff, good stuff. Sad stuff. That's life. And you can choose to be happy.

Grab your journal, your laptop or a piece of paper. You may choose to do these exercises right now, if so, great. If you're not able to start these exercises right now, for whatever reason, you can just read through them now and promise yourself to begin it again another day.

Exercise number one is to realize that you have no control over the outcomes.

You have no control over what anyone else does and then how that affects you. Maybe your child studies for that exam or not, or whether your spouse or soon to be ex-spouse does something that you don't agree with, or somebody at work does something that you don't agree with. We have no control over the outcomes, yet, we spend a lot of time thinking about the outcomes and trying to control them.

A good exercise to do right now might be to think about what you want in your life and think about what you can actually control. Think about things you're not happy about right now. Don't overwhelm yourself with things that you're not happy about, but let's say one or two things that you're not so crazy about. What can you do right now to make a change, to make a difference in that one area?

If you're not happy with the relationship that you have with your spouse, whether it's living in the same home and transitioning through divorce or maybe you've separated homes already, what could you do to improve that relationship? You have no control over the outcome. You have no control over what anyone else says or does ever. But what can you do?

Embracing positive changes and striving to become the best version of yourself is pivotal for personal happiness. When you actively pursue self-improvement, it not only improves inner contentment but also radiates outward, positively impacting your interactions, relationships, and overall well-being.

Exercise number two is an exercise in gratitude. Tons of research has been done on this topic. When you practice gratitude, you feel less envy, less hate, less sadness, less miserable. You feel happier when you focus on what you're grateful for and you focus on that every day.

You write it down. Eventually, you just naturally start to think that way. It's like the half cup full or the half cup empty. Eventually you'll start to look at things from a half cup full perspective. You'll start to see the sunny side of things, the joyful side of things. Be patient because this is a process. This skill may develop gradually, but will lead to deeper awareness and appreciation and create lasting benefits.

Remember this one. If you only want to pick one of these exercises to practice, pick this one. Practice gratitude. Write down every single day at least three, to as many things as you want, that you're grateful for. It can be as simple as I'm alive or I have amazing children, or I have a great job, or I have a puppy that loves me all the time or anything else that brings a smile. Just what are you grateful for? And when you start to think about that, you realize life's okay.

Exercise number three, what is your passion? What is your mission? Ask yourself, what am I most afraid of? What's holding me back? Try answering this question. What activity do I lose all sense of time in? Try answering these questions five times each in a row, you'll start to kind of go deeper and deeper and deeper.

What am I most afraid of? And what activity do I lose all sense of time in? The answers might surprise you. And when you lose that sense of time, it's a pretty good sign that you enjoy what you're doing. Maybe you just want to do a little bit more of that exercise.

Exercise number four, who am I? You know, for years you have been influenced by parents, teachers, coworkers, media, TV, actors, actresses, everybody, everything.

Are you actually living a life that you want to live or are you living a life that everyone else wants you to live?

A great exercise here is to think about something that you would like to embrace that you're hiding now and that most people don't know about you. What is that? Is there something that you're not doing because of everyone and everything else? Is it possible to begin doing that? Because that would make you happier?

These are just four of the many things that you can do to just feel a little happier right now. Happiness is a practice and a skill. You can choose to be happy no matter what's happening, no matter what the circumstance, no matter what's going right or what may be going wrong.

These exercises do take a little bit of work for some more than others. Invest in yourself and practice and you can decide whether you want to do it or not. But in the meantime, remember, you are perfect. Just the way that you are. You are loved and you are worthy.

And until next time here's to youfirst!




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