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Building Resilience: Unpacking Divorce's Life Lessons

A question that I get from many clients and people that I'm just having conversation with is what's the difference between divorce coaching and therapy? I'll sum it up here. Therapy is more about recovery. Diving into a person's past to see where the traumas are from. When they were a child. Looking at family of origin issues and any disorders and mental health issues. It's about going back and kind of seeing how the past has brought you to where you are now.

Both professions are caring professions. Both a coach and a therapist are looking out for best interests of the client. There's overlaps and similarities in what they do. And a difference.

What does a coach do?

Divorce coaching is more about forward thinking, action plans, and envisioning your future self. A coach, like myself, will help you clarify that vision and help you get there. A divorce coach such as myself, I meet the person where they're at in the divorce transition process, and I would ask them, how do you envision yourself five, ten years from now? What needs to happen right now and in the next five or ten years to create a professional and a personal life that would make you really happy?

Each person holds a unique vision of their future, like a special picture of what they want it to be. But when divorce comes along, that picture can change a lot. So, it's time to step back and think about how you want your future to look like and how you are going to get to that next chapter stronger, wiser and happier than you have ever been.

Imagine your life is a storybook, and divorce is a big plot twist that you didn't expect. This twist can make you feel unsure about what comes next. That's okay. It's like grabbing a map to figure out a new route. You get to decide what this new part of your story will look like.

It may involve the kids living with Dad half the time or with the other parent half of the time, let's say. Maybe not staying in the same home you're in, moving homes, creating a new home. Money issues can change and money can change.

Think about it as drawing a new picture. You have a fresh page and colorful crayons to create your future. Sure, there might be some tough parts to color, but you also get to add bright and happy colors. Reimagining your future after divorce is like making a new version of yourself. It's like saying, "I can make things better, starting now." It's your chance to build a new story that's all about you, your strength, and the exciting things you want to do.

We have to re-envision a future that is fun, promising, filled with possibility, exciting. And that's something that I do as a divorce coach. A coach will also help a client see where they are responsible for all of the problems in their life right now. And the good thing is they are also responsible for all the great stuff that's happening and they have control over creating lots of greatness in their life.

A coach is more about discovering. Working with a client to help them to discover their best self shine a light on their best self. They're able to heal emotionally and make best choices and best decisions for themselves and their families moving forward. In a nutshell, that's kind of the differences between a therapist and a coach.

I want to share with you some sobering statistics. A full 50% of first-time marriages end in divorce. About 65% of second marriages end in divorce, and about 75% of third marriages end in divorce. To me, this is clear proof that people often, don't take the time to learn the first time around. Any challenging situation in your life is an opportunity for you to learn and grow. If you give yourself that time and if you decide to do the work.

Whenever you face tough times, remember they hold within them a hidden chance for something valuable: growth. No matter how hard it seems, if you allow yourself the gift of time and commit to putting in the effort, you can find lessons that help you become stronger and wiser. Embrace the challenges as stepping stones, each teaching you something important. By facing them head-on, you're unlocking doors to personal evolution, creating a version of yourself that's more resilient and capable and more satisfying.

If you are transitioning through divorce, if you are considering getting a divorce, if divorce is on the table, and this is something that you are going to be working through, you can decide to do it differently. You can decide to learn from this marriage that did not work out the way you hoped. You can decide to heal yourself emotionally. You can decide to work through the business side of divorce responsibly. You can learn. You can grow and you can find love again. Get married again someday if you want to, and stay married to that person for the rest of your life. But there is a learning curve and you have to be prepared to do the work.

I was recently on a podcast with Millie Gormely. The Money Equals podcast. I'll put a link to the podcast below and if you'd like to check it out, great. It goes a little deeper into some of the things that I've just talked about. Millie's fantastic when it comes to money, and she is a money expert. Check it out if you want to learn more.

Thanks so much for being here with me today. And remember that you are loved, you are important, and you can choose to be happy.

And until next time here's to youfirst!



To check out Millie’s Money Equals podcast, use this link:


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