If the communication between you and your spouse seem so difficult right now. One of the problems, especially in the early stages of transitioning through divorce, is the difficulty between the two of you to have reasonable, rational and productive communication. One of you has initiated the divorce. One of you is feeling punched in the gut. One of you is feeling extremely sad and lost and confused and hurt and one of you may appear to be happy moving on.
Improving how you communicate during a divorce is really important. When you and your spouse have better and clearer conversations, it helps everyone in the family. It means less fighting and confusion. You can understand each other's feelings and thoughts. This makes things smoother and less scary for your children too.
Good communication can bring more peace and make the whole process less stressful. It's like working together to solve a puzzle. So, if you can listen and talk nicely, it can make things better for you, your spouse, and your children. Doing this work is an important step towards building the kind of healthy environment you and your children both deserve and need.
There are three specific stages in the transition of divorce. Our goal is for you to understand what stage you are in. It is also equally important to understand what stage your spouse is in. It is almost certainly going to be different and having this underlying understanding will prove to be effective and helpful going forward during this difficult time.
In the first stage you may be feeling completely lost. It's common to feel completely adrift, unsure of what's happening or what to do next. Emotions can be intense, ranging from overwhelming anger and denial to bitter sadness and shocking disbelief. Sudden waves of frustration might also wash over you. It's important to remember that these feelings could be where you find yourself, struggling to navigate the complexities of divorce, or they might be what your spouse is going through. Understanding this emotional turmoil can help both parties approach communication with greater empathy and patience, promoting a more constructive resolution process.
The second stage in the transition of divorce is where you may be feeling stress, fear, anxiety, leading more into skepticism and then acceptance. In stage two, you're still dealing with lots of tough stuff – fear and sadness keep coming back. But, there's a change happening. You're starting to see that the divorce is real, and you're accepting it little by little. It's like a step forward. Even though things are still hard, you're slowly finding your way to understanding the new situation. This stage is about realizing that things are different now. It's a chance for calmer feelings and better talks as you go through the divorce journey.
Stage three is moving into feelings of enthusiasm and energy and joy and future focus. If you have been pondering divorce for many months or many years and you've been thinking about it and finally realized that, you know, this is the best choice for you, you may be moving towards the acceptance stage within the divorce transition. And if you have just asked your husband or partner for a divorce, he may still be or she may still be in the beginning stages of divorce, shock, denial, anger, bitterness, sadness.
There are many, many important decisions that need to be made between the two of you. And that means that there'll be lots and lots of communication action. It makes common sense, and it's obvious that the better you can communicate now, the more loving you can be towards one another. The kinder you can be, the better off you'll be through this transition and in the rest of your life.
Navigating through a divorce is tough, but this is one of the helpful ways to make things a little smoother. Having a grasp on where you and your partner stand in the divorce journey. This understanding can significantly improve how you talk to each other in the future. It's like having a map to guide you. When you know which phase you are in, and you can acknowledge what phase your partner is in – you can communicate more clearly. This reduces misunderstandings and arguments, making conversations smoother and more focused.
Remember, you matter. You're important. You're capable of finding joy. Despite the challenges, you have the power to pick happiness. By recognizing your place in the divorce process and acknowledging your partner's position, you're taking steps toward a more positive and constructive path forward.
And until next time here's to youfirst!
Wendy
xo