When life feels chaotic and uncontrollable, consider taking 100% responsibility for your current situation. Acknowledge that if you're responsible for the challenges, you also have the power to change them. Practice self-awareness, and gratitude, and set achievable goals. Be adaptable, learn from mistakes, maintain a positive attitude, and seek support from the right professionals. Remember, you are worthy and can choose happiness.
You may be sitting wondering, why me? How can this be happening to me? What am I going to do? I can't do this on my own. Why me? The problem with why me is, you're going to have those feelings. But the longer you sit in that, it's not useful to you. The more useful question to be asking yourself right now is who am I going to be during this transition in my life? Who do I want to be as an example to my children? Who do I want to be for myself so that ten years from now I can look back and I can say, “Alright, I did the best that I could. Not too bad. Pretty proud of that. Handled that well.” This is not an easy time. But the sooner you can step out of that, you can begin to create a new life. You can have new hopes and new dreams. There are all kinds of possibilities and good times just waiting for you out there.
Right now you might be feeling like a victim. But the sooner you can step out of the victim and move into the owner of your life, the owner of your choices, the owner of who you are being right now, and through this transition, the sooner you can move forward.
You can work on all kinds of things. You can consider what your true values are. You can set goals. You can create new actions. You can go find the people that need to be in your life right now to support you through this time–the friends, the legal counsel, the coaches, the babysitters, the financial planner. You can start to gather the people around you so that you can move forward in this time.
It is one step at a time. For me, it's 18 years later and I can look back and say, not bad. I have six boys, they're all thriving. They're all healthy. They love me. They love dad. They love Dave. They've got lots of love in their life. They're all working hard at things. And we did the best that we could.
Did I mess up? Sure. Did I make mistakes along the way? Absolutely. But I know one thing. The sooner you can step away from being the victim, regardless of your circumstance, regardless of what has happened, regardless of whose fault it was, stop blaming, stop being the victim, and start to take ownership of your one very special, most important, awesome life.
And remember, you are worthy, you are loved. You are perfect just the way that you are. You can reach out to me if you're looking to have a conversation. I'd be happy to help you in any way that I can. And until next time. Sending love your way.
Wendy
xo