In this blog, I will shed light on the transformative power of divorce by guiding you to discover your true self, give you some secrets for making more informed decisions, and foster personal growth. I will discuss the importance of self-awareness during divorce and how to create a vision for your new family dynamics. My goal here is to empower you to navigate the challenges of this divorce process with grace, love, and clarity. Help me show you how to embrace this opportunity for self-discovery, learn from your mistakes, and build a strong foundation for a brighter post-divorce life.
I help people transition through divorce with grace, love, and clarity so that together we can make the world a better place. The problem is, that you can't make the best decisions for yourself and your family when you don't know who you are, what you want, where you're headed, and how you're going to get there.
I help people explore and understand their identity. I help people to clarify their passions, and their purpose, and create a plan that aligns with the reality in their life right now and the vision that they have for their future. Transforming your life and opening opportunities for things you didn't even know you thought were possible, are only possible when someone else inspires you. We only know what we know and we hopefully every day are learning and growing.
So today, I'm going to talk to you about the importance of knowing who you are, knowing what you want, where you're headed, and how you're going to get there.
A strong identity helps you to be clear about what's important to you. It helps you to make intentional decisions for yourself and your family, especially when you are in challenging times, whether it's divorce, work changes family problems or relationship challenges. Knowing who you are and being rooted in an identity that you have thought about and that is clear to you, will be and allow you to make the best choices for yourself.
Albert Einstein said, “The person who never made any mistakes, never tried anything new.” You may be considering divorce and thinking, “My God, this is not what I expected when I got married. I love this person. I have children. This is a huge failure.” The thing is, the people who are most successful in life will tell you over and over again that they had more failures than successes in their life and that's why they're successful. Failures are true failures if you don't learn and grow from the mistakes that you've made.
One relationship that has failed does not define who you are as a person. It opens an opportunity for you to learn more about yourself, and learn more about what you want in your next relationship. It allows you an opportunity to create a new relationship with your partner spouse, especially if you have kids. You will have a new relationship with them, so you have an opportunity to create something even better than it is right now.
What I want for you is to be able to look back 15 years from now and feel so proud about how you handled yourself during this transition. Look at your kids and look at your family and know that they have a great relationship with you, with their other parents, maybe with their other stepparent, and maybe with your new partner. They have strong identities and know that life is good. They've got lots of love in their life.
Working with the right professionals during this time will make a massive difference in your life. Working with a coach, you will learn from your experience. You will understand the divorce process. You will heal your emotions. You'll create a plan for your future and re-envision a new plan for your future. You will create a strong relationship with yourself, and with people that are important to you in your life. You will understand your values, your goals, and your future vision. You will understand where you failed in your relationship and you'll take responsibility for that. And you'll be able to be better in your next relationship and really in all of the relationships in your life.
Without this inner work, you’ll go into your next relationship with all this baggage and hope that that person will solve all of our problems when in fact, we can solve all of our own problems. We create all of our problems and we solve all of our problems. It means that we know ourselves and we work at always choosing, doing, and being that person.
That will attract people that love us for who we are. And when you find someone who loves you for who you are, for all of your weirdness, all of your quirks, all of your idiosyncrasies, well, that can be a great relationship. Even then you're going to have ups and downs. But you'll have that connection and it all starts with knowing who you are, what you want, knowing where you're headed, and having some kind of idea of how you're going to get there.
19 years ago I transitioned through divorce. I knew that I was not married to the right person. I had four little boys, ages two, four, six, and eight. And I had planned to get married once, stay married forever. That was family to me. The family stayed married together forever. With the divorce, I felt like I was going to ruin my children's lives. I didn't know where to begin. So I began reading in a local bookstore. I went to the “How To Get Divorced Better” section and I read and I learned. And I found some great books. At that time, there wasn't a coach as an option. I tried to choose the right professionals to work with. I did everything that I could to transition through the divorce without ruining my kids' lives.
I spent a lot of time in many years focused on my children. Then I spent many years focused on myself and doing inner work on myself. As I've been coaching others and coaching myself and being coached, I know that when I was first transitioning through divorce, if I had someone like myself right now by my side, guiding me, holding me accountable, teaching me, listening to me, helping me, providing me with the tools and strategies and the knowledge that I was just so desperately looking for, I would have transitioned through divorce probably more efficiently, more effectively. And I know for sure that I would have felt better about myself along the way.
Coaching is a partnership where you are guided through a conversation, you can speak and be heard. You are listened to. A coach will shine a light on your best self and help you to see and know that you're perfect just the way that you are and to know that you can make these difficult decisions. A coach will meet you where you're at and be there for you and with you and help you to grow and learn and build self-awareness, self-confidence, and integrity. Build your intuition, and create intention in your life. Create a plan for your future.
When you're transitioning through a divorce, you need clarity to make the right decisions for yourself and your family. That is why I've created a free mini-course to help you get the clarity you need in this process.
So remember, you are worthy, you are loved, and you belong.
Wendy
xoxo