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Practical Tips for Coping with Holidays Alone During a Divorce Transition: Divorce Thrive

What do you do when you're desperately missing your kids over the holidays? Today, I'm going to share with you five practical ideas of what you can do to plan for those days when you're not with your children over the holidays. 

You need to make a plan now so that those important days that you're not with your kids can be productive. If you don't create a plan, you run the risk of getting into a real slump. You can find yourself drinking too much, crying too much, being completely unproductive, and that's all normal. But I want you to do better than that. I want you to create a plan right now. Get your schedule out. Take a look at the days that you're not going to be with your kids and let's make this Christmas holiday as productive as possible. When they're not with you and then when they are with you, you can have all kinds of fun and laughter and good times together. You can create new memories and new traditions. You know, you can set Christmas up to be so special and wonderful and awesome. Even while transitioning through divorce.

Here are five ways in which you can manage those days when you are not with your children for the holidays:

  1. Exercise: Every single day that the kids are gone try to exercise. Go for long walks. Do yoga. Lift weights. Go for a run. Move your body. Especially right when the kids leave your home over the holidays for that first day plan to have your running shoes by the door and go out for a walk. Put your earbuds in and get a good podcast ready. Walk for an hour or two and just clear your mind because that house is going to be quiet and it can get really sad fast. 

  2. Reach out to friends and family: Let your family members and friends that you like to spend time with know the times that you're going to be alone and ask them if you can join in. You know, they're all here for you. They all want to help. So ask them if you can come over, join in a meal, join in some Christmas fun, and hang out with their families. 

  3. Block some time for journaling, meditation, or solitude: Give yourself some time to think about the new year and the next year and who you want to be during this time. What memories do you want to create for your kids? What new traditions do you want to create? Start journaling. Start thinking about how you're going to handle this situation, and who you're going to be during this time. Solitude can and will do amazing things for you. 

  4. Set some time aside to create new and better sleeping habits: We get so darn busy just running around and it's so busy with kids and family and dropping them off at the other parent's house and picking them up and managing so many things at the same time. Take a little time to think about your sleep habits. What you might want to do is some evening meditation, maybe some yoga nidra. That's fantastic. Figure out if reading a book before bed helps you. Listening to a little quiet music before sleep, getting into bed an hour before you want to be asleep, figure out your routine. Do you need magnesium in your life? Does exercise work better for you in the morning or the evening? Are you getting enough daylight in your eyes first thing in the day to bump up the serotonin levels in your body and then some evening daylight to increase the melatonin in your body? You know what works for you. Think about your sleep and aim to get 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night. This will help you feel a bit better. 

  5. Tackle some stuff on your to-do list: If there's something that you haven't gotten around to doing, like fixing that shelf or maybe some decorations or gardening or cleaning out your fridge because you’ve been occupied with other things, try to tackle some of those things. One last thing that you can give yourself is planning for the day that the kids come home. This is a new time in your life, a new year. Plan for when the kids come home. Make the best meal that you can make. Bake cookies, and have the house smell delicious. Some music in the background. They're transitioning through divorce, too so they might come home maybe a little bothered or maybe a little sad, maybe overly happy. Who knows? They're going to come home with all kinds of emotions. But you're going to just be chilling in a chair with some food on the table. You're ready to embrace them as they come in or give them space if they need. You're there for them. They know that. 

It's not easy spending time over the holidays without your children. The first year is brutal. The second year is not easy, neither is year three. But I don’t want you to be going into year four, or year five and it's still so hard for you. Take advantage of this time alone, and give gifts to yourself. I hope this helps you over the holidays. 

I want to let you know that you are worthy, you are loved. You are so important. And I appreciate you being here with me today. And if you need to talk to someone, you can schedule a call with me.




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