Divorce can be emotionally and financially overwhelming. That's why I'm teaming up with Sunny Wishart, president and founder of A la Carte Financial and a certified financial planner. We will show you how to understand all things money without feeling ashamed, overwhelmed, or embarrassed. You will learn. Learn more. Ask questions. No question is a dumb question.
Today we're going to dive into mindset success as the process. We've all grown up and have a way of thinking about money, a way of thinking about saving, spending, and investing, and often we don't even consider or think about what that is. So today we're going to dive into the importance of mindset, what's holding us back? What's keeping us stuck in even wanting to understand ourselves?
To use an analogy, it is like being healthy. How do you get healthy? It's so subjective. It means something different to me than it means to you. I know my body. I know my ailments. I know what works for me and what doesn't work for me. And then you work as you grow to understand what works and what doesn't work for you. Then you get healthy and you can move forward with this knowledge. Some people don't take the time to reflect on how their body works in certain situations, they don't bother, and they get more ill.
Finances are similar. You don't take the time to sit and reflect on your lifestyle, your savings patterns, your debt patterns, and even your income. We've got feelings and limiting beliefs around careers, and income potentials, and we can limit ourselves with these thoughts.
So what's going to make us financially healthy? Well, spending some time understanding what makes us feel good, what makes us feel bad, why are we doing what makes us feel bad, and why aren't we doing more of what makes us feel good.
Money is so much like that. It's about having an understanding of your financial health. But we often don't have that understanding because money is a “dirty little secret” we grew up with that we do not talk about. You probably get information about money from your parents or your uncle or your sibling and what they're doing and why they're geniuses. And that's basically your understanding of money.
But we often don’t spend time trying to understand what makes us feel good or bad. Sometimes what makes us feel good is a very unhealthy money pattern, like eating things you shouldn’t be eating just because they make you feel good temporarily.
We've all been raised with the “money doesn't grow on trees” strategy which is why we feel scarcity constantly and it's humming underneath everything we do with money. We always have these feelings but we never talk or think about them. We just do what makes us “feel good” and then perhaps, sweep it under the rug. But this doesn’t last forever. It usually has an end date when you start getting “financially healthy”. It’s going to help your mindset and have a balance.
Here are a few steps to improve financial health:
Balance: Scroll through your financials, see what's coming and what's going out, and find where your thing is. Everyone has a thing. Where do you feel this joy of spending after which you end up beating yourself up? For example, lots of people like to spend good money on hair, nails, cigarettes, weed, whatever, and sometimes end up feeling guilty about spending that money repeatedly but those feelings are just brushed under the rug. Identifying this is a great start because we need to find a balance where we allow ourselves this pleasure whenever it is possible without having to feel guilty each time or feeling the scarcity of money.
Brene Brown talks a lot about societal scarcity and the opposite of scarcity is enough. Especially when money is difficult. So rather than living in scarcity, realize that there is enough and there's enough for everyone. It's not a zero-sum game where some people make it all and you make none. There is enough and you are enough. Just be honest with yourself about where you're at right now and say, I'm enough and I deserve this. So I think number one is understanding where you're at and being kind and compassionate with yourself.
Planning: Shifting your mindset from being stuck to growth-oriented is step two. Sometimes you need to bring in more money to manage the costs you have. Remember that you are not stuck for life having the same income. Especially people in their mid-life who aren’t retiring anytime soon need to understand that you still have a lot of good years ahead of you to earn more and do better financial planning. You're not sailing into the sunset yet. So number two might be a future focus and planning for increasing your income. Create a future-focused plan. Maybe with someone like Sunny, you can just get a plan in action and that might be number two. How about number three? Let's think about one more thing. I'm sitting here. I'm just overwhelmed. I'm stuck. My story is this is how I've always done it, you know, how can I do it any different?
Financial health is a learning process: If you’re trying to manage your expenses better and you fall off the wagon, it's okay. It’s normal. Money can be an addiction, you could be addicted to whatever it is that you want to do with your money. Creating a balance isn't always easy, and you're likely going to not nail it on your first try and you might not have a steady hold on it for all your life either. There will be highs and lows. Implementing fail-safes that let you fall off the wagon and don't ruin you financially is a great way to ensure that you’re still safe. So this is a learning process.
Our actions are who we are. So if our thoughts or feelings around money are a certain way, if we're scared, then we're going to act scared. If your thoughts and feelings around money are abundant, that might just be what happens in your life. So it's part of the psychology of money. Everybody's in a different economic status, but we can all learn and grow some more if we want to.
So remember, you are worthy. You are loved, and you do belong. And if you need to talk to someone, you can schedule a call with me.
Wendy
xoxo