Divorce can be emotionally and financially overwhelming, that’s why I am teaming up with Sunny Wishart, a Certified Financial Planner and the founder of A la Carte Financial. Sunny has worked with clients from all walks of life and is an expert at giving unbiased and objective financial advice.
Sunny and I believe very strongly that with the right knowledge and guidance, you can emerge from this chapter of your life stronger and just as financially secure.
It cannot be overstated, the importance of choosing empathetic and ethical professionals during divorce. In this episode, we discuss the need for clients to feel comfortable asking questions and professionals to provide honest, clear advice, even if it involves difficult topics like bankruptcy. Collaboration and communication with your chosen professionals are vital in making informed financial decisions amid divorce.
Follow along and let us guide you to massive success in this next chapter of your story.
How can you be a better client and a better partner to the professionals you choose to work with during this challenging time?
Finding the right professionals is hard because, in this transitionary phase, you're going to want someone who has some empathy, and who will listen to you and your concerns. Sometimes we meet with a professional who is very good at what they do, but we don't like what they're saying. A good professional will be honest and ethical with you and will let you know where things stand. So it's about stepping into your reality.
Oftentimes in the professional space, some professionals just take you through the motions. The process is black and white and not at all flexible. It could be because these professionals see similar situations too many times. Nonetheless, these are bad bedside manners so to speak. When you are choosing to go to a professional you want them to be kind, gentle, and understanding while being honest.
In the financial planning space, we make projections and forecasts. Sunny says the first thing you'll want to do is start separating your finances. Everything could be a mess when you reach out to a professional and that is okay because you have so many things to deal with simultaneously, like custody of children, supporting your family, etc. Once you, get an idea about where to start, professionals like Sunny can walk you through the process and continue following up to see how things are going.
But it is important to have those professionals that listen to where you're at and they’re not easy to find. You should think of approaching potential professionals with specific questions during intro calls where you can explain your situation and they are proactively asking questions to understand your situation as well like:
Where are you guys at right now?
What is the financial situation currently?
What stage of the divorce are you at right now?
Who are you working with during this phase?
Being prepared with questions shows you are engaged and willing to move forward.
Sometimes when working with a professional, you might just sit and nod and do what they say because you might be feeling stupid about your questions or because you might not know much about your situation yet.
That's not right if you're working with the right person. You can ask any question and no question is a dumb question. If you feel dumb or if you’re made to feel dumb because you've asked a question, change professionals. They shouldn't make you feel like that. We are all good at different things and we're supposed to be working together and learning from each other. But it is possible to find someone who is empathetic, listens, and accepts the many, many, many questions that you bring to the table.
Learning something new takes time and effort, especially in a divorce. You have to do the work and maybe do it multiple times. You have to gather your documents. You have to get questions answered as well. But you should never be made to feel like you're not smart enough or good enough to be at that table.
You don't want to be working with someone who's all fluff and “yes, ma'am”, you'd like to be working with someone who's going to lay out the facts, tell you the way it is, and give you options, even if you don't like any of the options. Sometimes you need to hear difficult things and you need to absorb them.
Financial planning is based on goals. Start with three goals, short, medium, and long-term goals. What do you want right now? What do you want in the next 5 years? What do you want long-term? It is important to share as much as you can so that the professional you are working with gets the full picture of your situation and can help you, especially through uncomfortable conversations like debt, bankruptcy, etc. By sharing everything from the beginning itself, professionals can evaluate your situation and create a plan considering all outcomes so that you aren’t blindsided later on.
You have to have those hard conversations where you warm up to ideas.
To be able to make the best and most informed decisions, you need to interview maybe at least one, two, or three of each of the professionals, whether it be a financial expert, a lawyer, a real estate agent, a coach, a therapist, or an accountant. Ask them questions, get that gut feeling that they're making you feel good, you're feeling heard, you're feeling understood, and at the same time, make sure that they are being real with you and having the difficult conversations that need to be had so that you can make the best choices, the best decisions for yourself and your family and your future moving forward.
Figuring out how to manage finances among so many other things during this tough time can be overwhelming. That is why I am offering a 9-day Mini-Course to help you get some clarity about what is best for you and your family. Sign up today and get in touch if you have any questions.
And remember, you're perfect just the way that you are. You are awesome. You are wonderful, you are worthy, you are loved. And we look forward to talking to you again next week.
Wendy
xo